NIGHTMARES AND BLESSINGS

Here's a calm rendition of the repeated...repeated...repeated nightmare I am having night after night and day after day!

If I could shroud this in veils of black with wisps of bloody gauze it might approximate the monster that has eaten my time, my creativity, my entire days!!

It is a minor miracle that my right hand and arm can do anything other then sweep a paint brush and wipe of slops and drops of misdirected Aged Pearl paint.

Still, when I see that there are only about 6 more 'panels' and rafters to do, and see that the primer has really drawn together an otherwise disparate rather ugly ceiling, I am soothed...some.

I still see the completion distantly, but growing closer. I hope I have creative energy left to actually work in my workshop!



I am renewed, however by the pampas grass' colors and the 'flags' waving in the breeze, and by the nearby asparagus ferns that are caught between the vivid green of summer and the golden yellow of fall. They are stunning.

The gift of these colors and textures set me straight, and remind me how lucky I am and truly without problems. I can't help but think I indulge myself with the nightmare theme, when all around the world millions would give anything for my life.

Thanks to walking outdoors and seeing all there is to see and by 'shaking' me, without sternness, back into my proper self.

SHADES OF BEAUTY

I am not sure when my love affair with zinnias actually began. It was not even sparked by seeing a field of blooming flowers, rather it caught me quite by surprise. I recall several years ago, perhaps 14, deciding my large garden needed some flowers as well as vegetables. I quite unknowingly purchased a packet of zinnia flowers along with some others that never made the grade with me. I had no idea what they would actually look like in massive bloom, but I image I must have been attracted to the pictures in the catalog.

It was that late summer, when the first bloom came in full, that I was hooked, almost like love at first sight. It was astounding to me, the range of beauty that came from a single packet of seeds. There were hundreds of flowers and not one looked quite like another. The colors were vivid beyond any I'd ever seen, and the shapes and sizes of each flower so different from the one just next 'door'.

A field of zinnias in bloom in my garden.


When I go to the garden to cut a bouquet, I always end up with far more flowers then I intended to harvest. It happens every time: I cut a flower and the one a few inches away catches my eye and my breath and I can't resist cutting it as well...and on and on that way. My heart gets full to overflowing when I stand amid the zinnias, it is kind of like the full-throttle kick I get in autumn when the colors are peaking.

I began collecting the seeds that very year...initially a modest bagful. My love for these flowers has transcended all these years, and is so strong that I suggested to my daughter and husband when their second child was about to be born they name her Zinnia...Nia for short. As Iris was the name of their first child, they did not think another flower name quite appropriate...or maybe they just thought the whole idea rather foolish. (Anyway, Elsa fits this little girl perfectly, though Nia probably would have, too.)

So now the colors are gone, and the papery petals are falling. I stand amid the field of dried zinnias with no less love.

...and find them stunningly beautiful, as well.

...a single zinnia in full summer bloom...

...a fall 'bloom'

...again...

...and again...

...and again...

...and again...


As I stand amid this field of spent flowers, I am struck by the beauty. It is different and less in your face, but none the less stunning. As I am gathering the seeds from one 'flower' I am caught by the beauty of the one only inches away, and must collect that as well, and on and on until the gallon bags at this point, and I am not done, number 6 or 8.

...the seeds are eager to split from the 'pod' into my hand...

...it is so hard to leave a seed-head in the garden....

And here they will sit, in this basket (I know I'll have to find an additional container this year) on a shelf until spring's planting.

ZINNIAS

...hard frost has claimed
their vivid colors...
now pale and tan
petals dropping
I think this plastic bag I hold
unworthy of the seeds
I gather.

When summer was in its prime
I marveled at the bold,
electric colors
commanding my eyes...
color bursting like radiance,
no size or shape
the same.

Each year I come
stand amid their dry remains
to gather up the seeds...
bag
after bag
after bag

the seed's potential
palpable,
nearly holy in my hand

and I think how they will lay
inert all winter long
in a lowly plastic bag
in a broken wicker basket
on a basement shelf.

I know their austere
presence
and how they will stun me
again and yet again
come summer.

GOOD EATING AGAIN

I harvested my sweet potatoes a couple of days ago, and it was a bumper crop. I have been growing sweet potatoes for about 5 years now, and this is the best crop ever, both in the potato yield itself, and most definitely in the size of the potatoes.

I have a few, very few, small sweet potatoes, many good sized-large potatoes, and an abundance of gigantic sweet potatoes, the likes of which I've never seen before. I bet I have one or two that weigh nearly 3 #'s each. Their size has not detracted from their taste either, they are perhaps the sweetest, tastiest sweet potatoes I've ever eaten.

It is difficult to really tell how very large some of these are, but the ones that look smaller, aren't really small at all.

The potato in the front is actually quite large...the one behind, huge.



Growing up in a Sicilian household, food was often the center of our lives. However, my mother or father, both of whom were good cooks, never made risotto. It was only as an adult, and perhaps only within the last 10 years or so that I have made risotto, and I must say it is one of my favorite foods.



Creamy Italian rice sauteed in olive oil (with leeks and garlic) a broth gradually added 1/2 cup by 1/2 cup over a period of 30 minutes (while continually stirring) is a treat in itself. Depending on the season, and what is ripe, I add peas, spinach, asparagus, butternut squash, or in this case...sweet potatoes.

Mid-way in the stirring and broth adding. I generally use vegetable broth, and sometimes a high quality white wine...nothing less then what I would drink. Then a handful (1/4-1/2 C) parmigiana cheese.

Baked, cubed sweet potatoes added to the rice. Serve with a glass of good wine, a fresh green salad, and a loaf of hot crusty bread straight out of the oven.

I wish everyone could eat like this.

SUNDAY'S WALK

Yesterday we decided to walk our property with the dog. We walked past my cabin, which as you can see, at least on the outside, is complete. I love the way it looks, and am ever so anxious to settle inside. My work is now cut out for me, as I have to vacuum all surfaces prior to painting...with still some staples to pull out prior to that. I need to select and install a heating system, and then after all that is done, I can begin to 'move in'.

Between yard clean-up, garden clean-up (this is an enormous project in itself), and several scheduled meetings, I don't anticipate being in the basement before December, though I'd surely welcome being in sooner then that.

Just a few pictures from the walk on our property.

The sweetest little flowers...though they appear invasive as they are EVERYWHERE.

The color of the sumac makes our walk kind of magical.

A red oak.

...and 'weed' we did not know the identify of.

Altogether a lovely afternoon.

THE COLLECTORS

What a week it has been! Iris' fourth birthday on Wednesday, a day spent with Nonna on Thursday, and the 'party' on Saturday.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked Iris what kind of cake she wanted this year, and she said a bunny. She was quite definite about it, a white frosting and the chocolate cake. She added at the time, that she didn't want it to have a body, but she never noticed at the party, that this bunny surely had a body. She was pleased with it!

If you have been following this blog, you might remember my mentioning and perhaps showing pictures of her Zucchini doll(s)...as we've been through several. This prompted me to make her a more permanent zucchini doll, and I must say, much to my surprise, this was such a success...her first words upon opening it were "now I can take it to bed".

If you can't tell, the doll is in the middle...

...and on the left.

Perhaps one of my favorite days of the week, well to be honest there is no perhaps, is Nonnie Day, which this past week was Thursday. Iris is always filled with adventurous things to do, and this day she suggested that we 'do a collection'. I asked her what she meant, and she said we should each take a bucket and go outside to collect things. This was such fun, and she led me all over the yard, the garden and surrounding land to fill our buckets.

After filling them, she wanted to spread them out, so we took them into the garage and spread them on a couple of small tables. I was astounded at the beauty of our collection!


...and at her true devotion and love for all we gathered. She arranged them beautifully, I must say.

This led me to finally do the 'photo collection' I had been itching to do for several days. Just beyond our house is a pine grove planted many years ago by Anne (the former owners' daughter) for a 4 H project. It always seems to have been a wonderful place for mushrooms to grow in the fall, but this year the amount and beauty of the mushrooms is far beyond any I can recall.

And so....My Collection

This is a large and quite stunning blue mushroom...

which when you step on it...reveals this astounding blue color.

Surrounded by such beauty who can help but be enriched?

...AND IT'S NOT DONE YET!

Probably none of you who do in fact read this blog have noticed the absolute absence of any reference to the basement of my cabin, for what seems like several months now. The absence is mostly due to the 'depression' that set in oh, I'd say about Junish when I realized this was going to take far more time and MONEY then ever I dreamed. Way, way back in April, when this endeavor began, it was supposed to be not too much longer then a month to its completion. Let's see now, April to September...closing in on six months, and still not done. A lot closer yes, but not by any means complete.


Finally, though the kinks that have held it up seem to have been conquered, not always to my delight, but conquered. Mostly the hold up has been due to my wanting the basement to extend out beneath the deck (to increase space) and not be confined to the cabin proper. When I was given an estimate, the contractor said it would be 'problematic' but could be done. Little did we know how problematic it was going to be, as with every rain, and there were plenty this summer,
the abutment between the deck and the cabin ceiling leaked in several places. Many things were tried, some rejected, and one of the final solutions (a rubber mat on the deck floor) is, at least to my eyes

DAMN UGLY!

I have been looking at various outdoor floor coverings but have yet to find something that I think is less ugly. Hopefully, something will come to me.

Conquering this portion of the leak problem was only one step in the right direction, there was lots of cutting, replacing, caulking, and foaming before the leaking discontinued. (At least I hope it has stopped, and it's not just a consequence of the rains stopping.)

The landscaping is in progress, retaining wall nearly complete. Junk being cleaned up on the outside.

Now I need some really dry days to paint the outside, hoping I can match the color of the cabin!

Shots from the inside reveal bags and bags of trash to be disposed of...and work still in progress.

Here I need Freddie to determine what of this 'trash' he can find use for and wants stored in the barn. Hopefully this will be taken out SOON.

Dry wall needing painting.

I have, at least at this point, decided that I want the rafters left open. At first I thought I'd paint them, but now I think I'll paint the cement walls, the ceiling between the rafters, but not the rafters themselves.

When this ceiling was just the floor of the basement, and exposed to the ground, I had blanket insulation and board insulation stapled to it, to increase the heat value in the cabin. It was a good idea then, but now it is killing me! Freddie and Andy crawled underneath the cabin to install it, and boy did they do a great job, using, I think, nothing less then a million staples

like the close up of this one. They are all along the bottom portion of each rafter, and in most cases still have the blanket paper attached to them.

Yes, that is my hand, removing each and every one of those million staples. This is how I am spending a couple hours per day...not all at one time, however, as the crink in my neck and the twist of my wrist can only take it for about 30-40 minutes at a time.

Facing the back of the cabin basement, this is to the left...and relatively clean of staples, though there are a few stubborn ones I will need to leverage out with a knife before pulling with the pliers. Then it will all have to be vacuumed.


Then on to painting the inside, after which I can begin to move in all of the many items...tables, shelving, cabinets, lamps, etc., that I have accumulated since April. (I hope there is room, as I also want to bring down one of my three looms.)

So, even though after this very long six months, where I have said to myself more times then I can recall..."I wish I had never started this project!" there is still more to go. I actually do not anticipate being settled in surely not before Christmas at the earliest. What a journey!

I HAD BETTER LOVE THIS BASEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!