First of all, Happy Heart's Day to everyone!! Here it is a bright and exceedingly beautiful day...the welcomed sun and warmer temperature makes this an especially lovely Valentine's Day.
...needle-felted Valentine's pins...
As some of you may know, I am recovering from hand surgery. I had the 23 stitches removed yesterday, but still am somewhat restricted in how much I can use my hand. Not restricted by Dr. orders, but by my hand itself. The two fingers that were operated on are still exceedingly swollen and I am unable to bend them very much, which at this time precludes skiing, but allows driving. (Oh how I wish I were skiing today!!) I am deeply grateful that I am able to at least partially use my hand, however.
I have learned a great deal over the last two inactive weeks, about myself and about much else as well. Days stretch out very long and bleak when one can do little else but sit and read. (No cooking, no baking, no skiing, no driving, no weaving, no sewing, no knitting, no writing, etc., etc.) Normally I am not one to enjoy talking on the phone very much, but I must say that after about two hours of morning reading, I longed for someone to call, ask after me and just chat for a while.
I have so much deeper an appreciation and sorrow for those who may be living alone, have little contact with the world outside their own home, and have little ability to venture from home. I know some people spend their time watching TV, (we don't have TV) but even for those people, I believe that loneliness blankets the day heavily. We do have an old TV set on which we watch movies, and I did order many from the library thinking movies could help pass the time, but found (what I suspected) that I was unable to sit before the screen in the daylight hours watching anything. I lasted perhaps 10 minutes and knew this was something I could not do.
I have an elderly neighbor, 90 years old, who lives alone. I wonder about her and the depth of her aloneness...does she feel, as I did, wretched and sometimes near tears with frustration and sadness? Does she wander from room to room hoping for some kind of distraction? Does she eagerly await...anything...anything to happen for these long, lonely hours are fertile ground for self-doubt and depression.
I love solitude...I love silence...and crave them in my daily life. Most of the time I cannot get enough...but being ensconced in solitude and silence and to be 'disabled' is quite another thing.
I am blessed, unlike some for whom solitude and loneliness are constant companions, for mine was limited in time and space, and I was able to be somewhat mobile.
I am not complaining, but rather describing...for I am so blessed to be who and what I am....and despite having hand surgery that has limited me in difficult ways, I STILL HAVE A HAND, and I had someone who came home every mid-to-late afternoon. My heart goes out to those for whom the days stretch bleak and lonely.
