MOTHER'S DAY

My mother and Peggy, me and Corky.

My mother, seemingly long gone now, is never far from me. The days of my youth are surrounded, permeated with her and now in the days of my age, it is not less so. She is deep in me, the best in me, and her gifts are everlasting. Yet this Mother's Day it is not only her I honor, but the life she gave me and the life that was born of me, as well.

Just home from the hospital with Jonel.

She filled my arms and my heart.

For You Who Gave Me Motherhood

There was a time
I thought it crazy...
irresponsible
to bring a child
into a world-
over crowded
war-torn
confused
environmentally slipping...
I thought this with conviction.

But I clearly remember
the moment this changed,
though I cannot recall
what caused that change.

Sitting in a psychology class
I was swept
head to toe
(cliche though it is)
with the desire
to have a child,
a girl child specifically.

I never questioned, nor pondered this,
never weighed it against
my former convictions,
I just became
the truth of it.

I clearly remember
the night you were conceived
the sudden knowledge,
a silent quickening
when that tiny fish
tailed its way
to exactly
the right mate.

That was long ago...
and we've come through years together...
bursting in joys both big and small
-sentences at nine months
-tears for the smashed, bloated ticks
you claimed were your pets
-the kittens, the kittens, the cats, the cats
-your utter love for trees and stones and grass and sky

harrowing through the bumps of life...
ragged and sharp
-a mother sometimes quick to anger
-the teenage years
-the divorce
-and those days of mother/daughter strife
one reads about and wishes it were true
of someone else.

Here we are, down all these years
I honoring you for what you are
-for what you have become
-for how you live your convictions
for a cleaner, safer, sounder world
-for your considered self,
who weighs and sees all sides to issues
-for your utter love of trees and stones and grass and sky

and for your daughters
big-eyed Iris
and her utter love of trees and stones and grass and sky
and brown-eyed Elsa
who seems to have been born
loving,
a born-loving child.

There was a time I thought it crazy
to bring a child into this world

and now I know
the world needed you
and so did I.

How great is a mother's love!